Jokes and jokes about Halloween

2024 Tus sau: Leah Sherlock | [email protected]. Kawg hloov kho: 2023-12-17 05:37

Txhua lub caij nplooj zeeg thaum Lub Kaum Hli 31, tag nrho lub ntiaj teb ua kev zoo siab rau hnub so Halloween mystical, tso dag txog qhov uas tau los rau peb. Qhov no ominous, thaum xub thawj siab ib muag, nyiaj so koobtsheej tej zaum yuav hloov mus rau hauv lub sweetest sau ntawm dab phem ntawm tag nrho cov kab txaij. Cov cwj pwm ua rau tsis ntshai heev li luag nyav. Lawv siv cov hnub so xws li hauv tuam txhab ntawm cov phooj ywg, lossis ntawm cov tog neeg nrog cov dej cawv los ntawm cov dej tuag.

Ntxhais neeg vwm

Yog tias koj mus so hauv lub tuam txhab zoo, ces koj yuav tsis ua yam tsis muaj lus tso dag zoo txog Xus. Npaj rau marshmallows, khoom qab zib, paj kws thiab sau koj cov phooj ywg nyob ib ncig ntawm lub chaw pw hav zoov, piv txwv li. Tsuas yog qhov tseem ceeb ntawm qhov kev zov me nyuam yuav tsis yog cov dab neeg txias, tab sis cov lus tso dag thiab cov lus piav qhia txog Halloween. Kev lom zem zoo siab tau lees paub los muab kev lom zem uas tsis nco qab thiab lub hiav txwv ntawm kev luag nyav ntawm dab ntxwg nyoog cov neeg sib sau ua ke ntawm hnub so.

Kab lus no coj los rau koj xaiv, tag nrho ntawm kev lom zem dub thiab kev hais lus tsis zoo, luv luv Halloween tso dag. Qhov tseem ceeb ntawm no tsis yogtuag ntawm luag (los yog ntshai?).

Zoo tshaj Halloween tso dag txog txhua tus dab phem

Kev sib tham ntawm ob vampires:

– Kwv tij, koj puas nyiam cov plaub hau daj nyob ntawd?

– Kuv yeej tau ntsia tus txiv neej rog ntawm nws ib sab ntev. Cia li xav, nws muaj ib liter thiab ib nrab ntxiv ntshav!

Werewolves hais lus hauv hav zoov German:

– Dab tsi yog txiv neej?

– Kuv tsis muaj peev xwm dais nws tam sim no! Kuv nyiag ib tug qaib los ntawm cov neeg ua liaj ua teb hauv zos ib zaug, thiab tom qab ntawd lawv tau caum kuv tag nrho hmo ntuj hauv cov teb nrog cov tsheb daus.

– Eh, kuv tham dab tsi? Wb maj mus rau Rossiushka - lawv hwm cov hma nyob ntawd, lawv muab epaulettes, lawv ua haujlwm hauv tub ceev xwm.

Night Outing

Halloween. Hmo ntuj. Ib lub qhov ntxa tawm ib tug zombie rau ntawm qhov chaw, uas mus rau nws tus ntoo khaub lig thiab pib spinning nws nyob rau hauv concentration. Nws cov neeg zej zog nkag los ntawm lwm qhov ntxa thiab indignantly hais tias:

– Petya, koj sim ua dab tsi?

– Ta shoto internet is messing up

Pillar

Peb vampires nyob rau hauv daim ntawv ntawm puav dai rau ib tsob ntoo - ib tug Frenchman, lwm Englishman, peb Chukchi.

Tus txiv neej Fabkis tau tawm thiab ya mus nrhiav cov tsiaj, rov qab kaum tsib feeb tom qab nrog ntshav ntawm nws daim di ncauj. Cov phooj ywg thiab nug nws:

– Oops, tus ntawd yog leej twg?

– Pom lub tsev fuabtais no? tus Fab Kis teb. - Ib tug ntxhais zoo nkauj pw hauv pem teb ob, kuv ya hauv qhov rais thiab haus nws cov ntshav.

Tom qab ntawd ib tug neeg Askiv khiav tawm mus nrhiav ntshav. Tom qab ib pliag, nws rov qab los nrog ntshav ntawm nws lub ntsej muag. Cov phooj ywg thiab nug nws:

– Koj pom qhov twg?

– Yogqhov ruaj khov yog. Nyob ntawd tus mab liab zoo nkauj heev, ntau, haus nws cov ntshav!

Vampire ntawm Chukotka mus yos hav zoov. Rov qab los ntshav.

– Wow, cas koj haus ntshav ntau heev?

– Koj puas pom tus ncej nyob ntawd? Chukchi teb.

– Zoo, peb pom.

– Kuv tsis pom nws.

Halloween tso dag

– Sasha, leej twg yuav koj ua si ntawm Halloween? -Cawv cawv! - Ib zaug ntxiv?!

Cov neeg uas hais tias hnub so ntawm lub hnub poob rau hnub poob Halloween tsis haum rau Russia, txawm lawv paub Halloween lossis Russia me ntsis.

Hnub Halloween, cov menyuam hnav li dab phem thiab thov khoom qab zib. Twb yog ib hnub twg tus ntxhais ua tau zoo li ib tug hluas nkauj xwb ces tseem tuav rawv txoj kev hwm.

– Leej Tub, Xus no yog koj li cas? - Zoo, txiv, qhov no yog thaum tag nrho cov kikimors, witches thiab mermaids sib sau ua ke nyob rau hauv ib qho chaw thiab muaj hnub caiv. - Tsis txhob yuam kev Halloween nrog Lub Peb Hlis 8 rau kuv!

Txhua Halloween ib bbw muaj qhov teeb meem: dab tsi yuav txaus ntshai rau hnav - leggings, miniskirt lossis leggings?

Ob tug txiv neej tham: - Kuv muaj ib tug poj niam phem heev. Nag hmo kuv tau ua tiav kuv txoj haujlwm txij nkawm. - Koj txiav txim siab li cas? - Zoo, Halloween.

– Koj yuav ua li cas rau Halloween?

– Kuv tsis xav tau pleev…

Ib tug ntxhais xaiv khaub ncaws rau hnub Halloween hauv khw. Tus mermaid costume ntau npaum li cas? - Xya txhiab. - Wow, kim npaum li cas! Thiab tus puav? - Tsib txhiab. Hm, tseem kim. Thiab lub costume ntawm no Baba Yaga? -Ntxhais, koj taw rau daim iav.

-Barrymore, lub suab nrov ntawm txoj kev yog dab tsi? -Halloween, sir. - Cov txiv hmab txiv ntoo no yog dab tsi? -Txhua Haiv Neeg Ntseeg 'Eve, sir. "Yog vim li cas lawv txhua tus zoo li ghouls thiab dab ntxwg nyoog?" - Lawv ntseeg hais tias cov dab uas tawm los ntawm lub qhov rooj ntawm cov dab uas qhib rau hnub Celtic New Year yuav coj lawv mus rau lawv tus kheej thiab yuav tsis kov lawv. - Yog li ntawd, sab twg yog cov ntseeg nyob ntawm no? - Sir, qhov no tsuas yog kev zam txim rau qaug dej qaug cawv.

- Kuv yuav ua kuv tus kheej ib daim tshev them nyiaj rau Halloween. - Koj puas lig dua?

Yog hnub ntawm lub limtiam yog Halloween, nws yeej yuav yog Monday.

- Koj tuaj Halloween li cas? - Tsis muaj txoj kev, los yog es kuv yuav yog kuv tus kheej: Kuv yuav txiav qhov tseeb-mob. Kuv teb, qhov no yog qhov phem tshaj plaws uas koj tuaj yeem xav txog.

Ntxhais thiab vampires

Ob tug vampires zaum ntawm qhov ntxa, thiab ib tug me nyuam ntxhais khiav ncig lawv. Nws khiav thiab thuam lawv. Qhia lawv.

– Muab nws rov qab, thov! cov vampires thov kom nws rov qab ib yam dab tsi.

– Tsis txhob tos!

– Zoo, thov, koj puas xav kom peb txhos caug ua ntej koj?!

– Yog li kuv ntseeg koj!

Hmoob hma pom qhov xwm txheej no. Nres thiab saib tus ntxhais tsis zoo.

– Nyob zoo cov txiv neej, koj tham txog dab tsi nrog nws?! Noj thiab ua kom tiav!

– Yog, khiav tawm, nws tau txais peb cov hniav!

Tsis tso dag nrog lub siab

Lub hleb dub ntawm lub log me me caij hauv txoj kev. Yog li ntawd, kuv tau tsav tsheb mus rau hauv tsev, mus rau hauv qhov nkag, nce mus rau lub cuaj pem teb, nias lub khawm hu. Lub qhov rooj qhib los ntawm ib tug hluas nkauj. Lub hleb qhib, vampire ya tawm ntawm nws thiab qw:

– Lub siab, muab rov qabkuv lub siab! … tsuas yog ua si xwb, tau kawg! Koj tau dhau los ua tus yeej muaj hmoo ntawm hnub - koj tau yeej 40 feem pua luv nqi ntawm lub hnub qub pob zeb nrov CD! Hluas nkauj, nyob zoo ntxhais! kuv dag! Vim li cas koj xiav?!

Kev xa khoom

Nyob zoo thiab pw hauv lub hleb ntawm vampire, tsis muaj leej twg kov. Dheev, ib khob ntawm lub hleb.

– Nws coj dab tsi?

- Koj tus neeg xa ntawv tus kheej. Tsis nco qab lawm, txoj cai? Koj tau txais ib tsab ntawv hauv koj lub thawv!

Poob rov qab

Ib tug poj niam tig mus rau qhov chaw ua khawv koob nrog lub hom phiaj tshwj xeeb. Ntawm qhov pib, nws tau ntsib los ntawm ib hom yeeb yuj Hottabych hauv lub hoodie nrog lub pob siv lead ua, wand thiab lwm yam tsis muaj tseeb thiab nug txog lub hom phiaj ntawm nws mus ntsib. Zoo, tus poj niam hais tias:

- Kuv txoj hauj lwm tsis kub, nyuaj rau noj peb tug me nyuam, thiab kuv tus txiv, ib tug neeg phem, mus rau ib tug hluas nkauj. Kuv yuav them ntau npaum li qhov nws siv, tsuas yog xa cov khoom noj rov qab rau tsev neeg xwb!

Tam sim no, tus dab ntxwg nyoog daim di ncauj tsis yog neeg ruam, nws teb nws:

- Txhua yam yuav zoo, Kuv cog lus. Muab 1000 rubles rau hauv tus neeg txais nyiaj. Yog tias koj muaj teeb meem, rov qab los rau kev sib tham thib ob.

Cov poj niam quaj tawm ntawm tus kws yees duab chaw ua haujlwm. Ib lub lis piam tom qab, tus poj niam no rov qab mus rau lub salon dua, tab sis tam sim no ntshai thiab txaj muag heev. Tus dab ntxwg nyoog nug:

- Koj tus txiv puas rov qab los?

Hears in response:

- Nws rov qab los, nws rov qab los, tab sis thawj tus, uas nws faus 10 xyoo dhau los.

Kev phem phem

Ib zaug tus neeg quav yeeb quav tshuaj zaum hauv toj ntxas thiab haus luam yeeb. Hmo ntuj. hli. Ua tiav Halloween. Txhawm rau ua kom tiav daim duab, tus txiv neej tuag tau nkag hauv lub qhov ntxa nyob ze nws thiab, khauslub xub ntiag ntawm tus tub, txiav txim siab kom ntshai nws me ntsis. Nws los cuag nws thiab hais tias:

- Hav, muab rau kuv puff!

Tus neeg quav yeeb quav tshuaj tsis tau daim tawv muag, muab luam yeeb rau nws. Tus txiv neej tuag tau rub mus, taug kev thiab xav tias, pom meej, nws tsis zoo li txaus ntshai. Nws rub tag nrho nws daim tawv nqaij, rub tawm nws lub qhov muag thiab sim zaum ob.

- Hav, me tub, muab qhov tsis muaj hmoo rau lwm tus puff!

Tus neeg quav yeeb quav tshuaj teb tias:

- Ntxim qab heev.

Tus txiv neej tuag lawm los pib xav tias yuav ua li cas nws yuav ua rau tus txiv neej tsis ntshai. Tuav nws txhais ceg thiab caj npab, nkag mus rau tus neeg quav yeeb tshuaj.

- Muab rau kuv ib zaug ntxiv !!!

Tus neeg quav yeeb quav tshuaj thiab teb nws:

- Nah, Kuv yuav tsis!

- Vim li cas???

- Tsis zoo rau koj noj!

Yuav tig

Ib zaug peb tug tub hluas poob rau hauv tes ntawm vampire: Asmeskas, German thiab Lavxias. Nws hais rau lawv tias yog muaj ib tug ntawm lawv uas ua rau nws luag, nws yuav raug tso tawm.

Tus neeg Amelikas pib tso dag, tab sis nws cov lus tso dag yog tiaj tus: nws cov ntshav curled hauv caj pas ntawm vampire.

Tus German raug kev txom nyem tib yam.

Thiab cov neeg Lavxias tau hais kom rub rau luam yeeb. Tus vampire pom zoo, txawm hais tias nws tsis nkag siab tias qhov no yuav pab tau cov neeg Lavxias li cas.

Lawv haus luam yeeb, haus luam yeeb muaj zog, tom qab ib teev tag nrho lawv cackled hauv qab agarics.

Tshwj xeeb, tom qab ntawd, tus neeg muaj peev xwm Lavxias teb sab vampire.

Tab sis nws tsis nyob ntawd. Tsuas yog ib tug neeg Lavxias dhau ntawm qhov pib - shast, ntawm nws lub xub pwg vampire txhais tes tau txuas.

Vajtswv thov txim vim xav noj tom qab luag luag thiaj yog tus kawg.

Nyob zoo ib tsoom niam txiv kwv tij neej tsas sawv daws

- Niam, niam, kuv pom kuv pog! - Kuv hais rau koj ib txhiab zaus kom tsis txhob khawb tob rau hauv lub sandbox, fidget!

Niam tais daim npav: "Nyob zoo, nyob zoo niam tais, kuv ua kev zoo siab rau koj hauv qab kuv lub siab rau hnub Halloween - koj hnub so haujlwm!"

Vim li cas txhua tus dab tsis tshwm sim rau pej xeem hnub Halloween? Ib txhia tsis pom ib lub caj dab xis.

Raws li phau ntawv txhais lus Halloween, ya mus rau hauv lub chimney txhais tau tias hu rau dab phem.

Txoj Kev Ruaj Ntseg Roob Tsuag yuav pab ua kom koj cov plaub hau tsis muaj qhov tsis zoo thaum ya ntawm tus pas nrig, txawm tias huab cua txias heev.

Riddle: "Nws hla dhau lub toj ntxas, tab sis tsis txav, nws yog dab tsi?" Teb: "Fence!"

Halloween omen: "Zoo hmoo miv dub tsoo koj daim iav nrog lub thoob khoob."

Tej zaum ib qho ntawm qhov txaus ntshai tshaj plaws Halloween pranks yog: "Tus kws kho mob npau suav phem: nws pheej tau hu los ntawm cov neeg siv khoom txaus siab."

Halloween rau menyuam yaus

Children's Halloween tso dag suav nrog cov hauv qab no:

Cinderella, tsis txhob hnov qab tias thaum ib tag hmo koj lub taub hau yuav tig mus ua taub dag! - yog li tus neeg zoo nkauj qw tom qab lub tsheb thauj mus los.

Cinderella tsis hnov nws, tau kawg. Nyob ntev Halloween!"

« - Halloween Kuv ntsib nyob rau hauv ib tug nees costume.

- Mane and apples?

- Tsis yog, Kuv nqa kuv txiv lub tsho."

Thaum kawg, cia peb nyeem ib qho lus tso dag hais txog Halloween ntawm KVN:

Halloween tsuas yog hnub ntawm lub xyoo thaumntawm lub koom haum koom nrog, ib tug ntxhais tuaj yeem qhuas cov lus hauv qab no: "Koj txaus ntshai heev!" thiab tsis txhob ntaus lub ntsej muag.

Npaj rau hnub so

Yog tias koj twb tau ua kev zoo siab rau hnub so no, tsis txhob poob siab. Txuag cov lus tso dag Halloween no rau xyoo tom ntej. Nrog qhov tshwm sim ntawm 99 feem pua, koj cov phooj ywg yuav txaus siab rau txoj hauv kev no. Tsis txhob plam lub sijhawm los muab kev xav zoo rau tib neeg yam tsawg kawg rau hnub so.

Cia siab tias koj yuav txaus siab rau peb cov kev xaiv ntawm Halloween tso dag rau kab lus no!