Funny lus tso dag txog Kazakhs

2024 Tus sau: Leah Sherlock | [email protected]. Kawg hloov kho: 2023-12-17 05:37

Kev tso dag hais txog cov neeg sawv cev ntawm ntau haiv neeg yog qhov nrov heev hauv peb lub tebchaws. Cov neeg Lavxias txaus siab rau kev lom zem ntawm lwm haiv neeg, piv txwv li, Jewish, Caucasian, thiab lwm yam. Kab lus no muaj cov lus tso dag tshaj plaws txog Kazakhs. Yog li ntawd, peb yuav mus rau qhov kawg tshav ntuj steppe mus koom cov kab lis kev cai ntawm cov neeg no.

Kom hnov qhov kev zoo nkauj ntawm cov lus Kazakh, kom hnov qhov txawv tshaj plaw ntawm kev ywj pheej ntawm lub neej tsis muaj qhov kawg, kom hnov tsw thiab saj koumiss, txaus siab rau kev zoo nkauj thiab kev tshav ntuj ntawm nees, qhuas kev nplua nuj ntawm yurts, koj yuav tsum tau hais lub npe ntawm lub tebchaws Netherlands, hais txog tsab ntawv kawg.

Dream Factory

Ib tug hluas Kazakh ob niam txiv tau nyiam ua yeeb yaj kiab nto moo uas ua yeeb yam Arnold Schwarzenegger. Lawv txawm tis npe rau tus me nyuam Ailbibek.

Muas hauv Mercedes

Muaj ntau qhov tso dag txog Kazakhs thiab Russians. Ib tug ntawm lawv yuav raug nthuav tawm rau koj mloog. Txawm li cas los xij, nws hais txog cov neeg sawv cev txawv txawv ntawm cov haiv neeg no.

Kazakh tshiab txiav txim siab ua phooj ywg nrog cov neeg Lavxias tshiab. Mus cuag lawv thiab hais tias: “AssalamAleikum! Wb mus rau Maldives ua ke!" Thiab lawv teb nws: "Koj puas muaj tsawg kawg yog tsib-storey tsev?"

Kazakh teb: "Tsis yog". Cov neeg Lavxias tshiab nug: "Koj puas muaj cov saw kub tuab li ntiv tes?" Cov Kazakh shakes nws taub hau. Cov neeg Lavxias tshiab rov nug cov lus nug: "Koj puas muaj lub tsheb Mercedes?" Ib zaug ntxiv, Kazakh muab lus teb tsis zoo. Cov neeg Lavxias tshiab hais tias: "Zoo, thaum koj tau txais tag nrho cov no, ces tuaj!" Tus tshiab Kazakh muab lub iPhone kub thiab hu rau nws tus poj niam: "Zoo, hu rau cov neeg ua haujlwm thiab hais kom lawv rhuav tshem ob lub plag tsev kawg ntawm peb lub tsev! Muag ob peb Lincolns thiab Rolls-Royces thiab yuav ib lub Mercedes." Cov neeg Lavxias tshiab ntsia ib leeg, thiab Kazakh hais ntxiv tias: "Tshem cov saw kub ntawm peb Bobik thiab xa ib pob rau kuv."

lus tso dag txog Kazakhs muaj tsis yog hauv Lavxias nkaus xwb. Cov neeg sawv cev ntawm haiv neeg no lawv tus kheej nyiam qhia lawv. Lawv paub hu lawv cov lus Kazakhsha. Cov lus tso dag txog Kazakhs hauv Lavxias feem ntau txhais.

Nkauj ruam tsab ntse

Kazakh akyns sau nkauj txog txhua yam lawv pom nyob rau hauv pem hauv ntej ntawm lawv. Mus da dej nrog lawv tu siab heev.

Hauv Kazakhstan, txhua txoj kev kos npe tsuas muaj daim duab peb sab xwb. Qhov no yog vim hais tias ib puag ncig ntawm cov tin tuaj yeem yooj yim siv los ua lub hau rau lub lauj kaub kib, thiab cov ntawv hlau duab plaub tuaj yeem ua haujlwm zoo rau lub duav.tshem cov daus los ntawm kev txuas ntoo kov rau nws.

Kazakh is a Kazakh in Africa thiab

Jokes txog Kazakhs yog ib qho cuab yeej zoo rau kev kawm txog lub teb chaws lub siab, kev coj noj coj ua, kev coj noj coj ua thiab lub neej niaj hnub ntawm cov neeg no.

Lub sijhawm Tsov Rog Loj Loj, cov Germans tau ntes ib tug Lavxias, Ukrainian thiab Kazakh. Tus tub ceev xwm tau hais tias: "Xaiv thiab tua Ukrainian thiab Lavxias, thiab tua Kazakh tam sim ntawd." Cov Kazakh tab tom poob: "Vim li cas, ob tug no yuav tsum tau nug, thiab tua, thiab kuv yuav tsum raug tua tam sim ntawd?" Tus tub ceev xwm piav qhia tias: "Thiab yog tias koj pib tham nrog koj, koj yuav dhau los ua ib tus neeg txheeb ze."

Yog tias tag nrho Kazakhs tawm hauv tebchaws Russia, yuav tsis muaj ib tus neeg ua haujlwm li Japanese kws ua zaub mov hauv sushi tuav.

Nkauj hais lus phem thiab tsis yog

Pab pawg neeg hockey Kazakh ice hockey tau rov hais kom International Olympic Committee tso cai rau lawv koom nrog hauv kev sib tw thaum zaum saum nees.

Muaj ntau yam lus dag hais txog Kazakhs. Txawm hais tias tsab xov xwm no tsis tau mob siab rau tsuas yog cov qauv no, tab sis tseem yog ib qho ntawm lawv tsim nyog hais txog kev hloov pauv.

Ib tug neeg Amelikas, ib tug Fabkis, Italian, Italian thiab Kazakh tau mus rau ib kob suab puam. Peb nyob ntawd tau ob lub lis piam. Tom qab ntawd, cov txiv neej sib sau ua ke rau kev tawm tswv yim thiab txiav txim siab seb leej twg ntawm lawv yuav saib xyuas cov neeg Italian. Cov neeg Amelikas hais tias: "Qhov tseeb, peb yog neeg Amelikas - lub tebchaws tseem ceeb tshaj plaws hauv ntiaj teb! Yog li ntawd, kuv yuav tsum saib xyuas tus poj niam no!" Tus Txiv Plig Fab Kis teb tias: “Thiab peb cov uas yog Fab Kis, yog ib haiv neeg qub qab heev! Yog li ntawd, kuv yuav tsum yog tus hluas nraug no.poj niam!"

Tus neeg Italian, gesticulating zog, exclais: "Thiab kuv, los ntawm txoj kev, yog Italian! Peb yog tib haiv neeg! Yog li ntawd, Vajtswv nws tus kheej tau txiav txim tias, tau kawg, kuv yuav tsum saib xyuas nws!" Thiab cov Kazakh zaum ntsiag to nyob ze ntawm lub hiav txwv thiab catches ntses. Nws tsis koom nrog kev sib cav ntawm lwm tus txiv neej. Lawv nug nws tias: "Vim li cas koj tsis ua txuj rau lub tsev hais plaub Italian?" Nws maj mam tig mus thiab hais tias: "Yog li kuv tau pw nrog nws ob lub lis piam thiab tsis paub tias kuv yuav tsum tau saib xyuas nws!"

Raws li koj tuaj yeem pom, muaj ntau yam lus tso dag txog Kazakhs. Yog li ntawd, ntawm no yog qee qhov piv txwv ntawm kev lom zem.

nkauj muam nraug nus

Niam hais rau Kazakh: "Kanat, koj yuav luag peb caug xyoo, thiab koj tseem tsis tau sib yuav! Ua cas koj tsis xaiv ib tug nkauj nyab rau koj tus kheej? Piv txwv li, Aigul yog ib tug ntxhais zoo nkauj heev, ntse. Los yog peb cov neeg zej zog Ismigul kuj zoo heev. Nws kawm tiav hauv Pedagogical University. Nws ua hauj lwm ua ib tug kws qhia lus Askiv. Koj tsis nyiam lawv? Kanat teb tias: "Tsis yog, niam. Kuv hlub Sergei." Niam alarmed: "Koj yog dab tsi? Nws yog Lavxias teb sab!"

Nyob hauv Kazakhstan, kev nyiag nyiaj hauv txhab nyiaj. Tus neeg ua txhaum, raws li ib txwm, tso tag nrho cov neeg ua haujlwm rau hauv pem teb thiab hais tias: "Tus ntxhais ntawm lub qhov rais, koj lub npe hu li cas?" Tus neeg ua haujlwm hauv tuam txhab nyiaj teb nws: "Kuv lub npe yog Aigul." Tus tub sab hais tias: "Aigul, tus ntawd yog kuv niam lub npe! Yog vim li cas kojKoj tuaj yeem tawm mus." Tus tub sab tig mus rau tus neeg saib xyuas thiab nug tias: "Koj lub npe hu li cas?" Nws teb tias: "Raws li kuv phau ntawv hla tebchaws, kuv yog Ivan. Tab sis txhua tus phooj ywg feem ntau hu kuv Aigul."

Duel

Tseem muaj cov lus tso dag keeb kwm txog Kazakhs. Ntawm no yog ib tug ntawm lawv. Lavxias teb sab bogatyr Ilya Muromets thiab Kazakh batyr Kairat ntsib nyob rau hauv battlefield. Kazakh ntaus Ilya Muromets nrog lub club ntawm lub taub hau thawj zaug thiab tsav nws mus rau hauv av mus rau lub duav. Kuv ntaus nws zaum ob thiab Ilya nkag mus rau hauv av mus txog rau tus phab ej lub hauv siab. Thiab lawv tau sib npaug hauv qhov siab.

Cov neeg sib tw

Ib Kazakh los ntawm Zhezkazgan tuaj txog hauv Moscow. Kuv mus rau chav dej ntawm qhov chaw nres tsheb thiab pom tias tsab ntawv "M" sau rau ntawm ib lub qhov rooj, thiab tsab ntawv "F" yog sau rau lwm qhov. Nws xav tias: "Zh" txhais tau hais tias Zhezkazgan. Kuv yuav hla lub qhov rooj no." Nws los hauv thiab muaj ib tug poj niam. Nws dhia hauv surprise thiab dhia mus rau nws ko taw. Cov Kazakh hais tias: "Tsis txhob ntshai! Kuv yuav tsis ua dab tsi rau koj. Kuv kuj los ntawm Zhezkazgan"

About mambets and others

Txij thaum tsab xov xwm no nthuav tawm cov lus tso dag txog Kazakhs hauv Lavxias, qee qhov kev piav qhia yuav tsum muaj rau cov neeg tsis paub txog qee yam ntawm lub neej ntawm lub tebchaws no. Piv txwv li, Kazakhstan kuj muaj nws cov gopniks. Lawv hu ua mambets nyob ntawd. Yog li ntawd, muaj ntau yam lus tso dag txog qhov stratum ntawm cov pejxeem.

Ob tug mambets taug kev ncig Astana. Lawv yog cov neeg txawv teb chaws hauv kev ua koob tsheej ntawm lub neej no. Tsis muaj leej twg xav nrog lawv tham. Mam li nco dheev ib tug dab phem tshwm sim thiab hais tias: “Yog koj mus txog saum lub roob ntawd, ces koj yuav tsis phem dua.tshaj li cov neeg nyob hauv lub xeev lub nroog." Cov Kazakhs nce toj siab, ib tug nce mus rau saum toj, lwm tus stretches nws txhais tes rau kev pab, tus uas sawv saum toj qw rau nws: "Mus tawm. kuv, hmoob ruam!"

Ib tug neeg nyob hauv Alma-Ata tau muaj cai mus yos hav zoov mambets. Nws taug kev hauv nruab nrab ntawm lub nroog, tua ntawm gopnik, thiab tsis muaj dab tsi txaus ntshai tshwm sim. Tub ceev xwm coj zoo. Mus rau lwm qhov chaw, ua tiav ntawm mambet. Cov koom haum tub ceev xwm nyob twj ywm. Tau mus rau sab nraud ntawm lub nroog. Nws kuj tua ib tug nyob ntawd thiab. Tub ceev xwm dhia tawm tom qab lub hav txwv yeem thiab tam sim ntawd twisted nws. Nws hais rau lawv tias: "Koj yog dab tsi, cov txiv neej? Kuv muaj daim ntawv tso cai!" Lawv hais rau nws tias: "Ntawm no tsis ua haujlwm! Qhov no yog thaj chaw cia!"

Thiab ntawm no yog ib qho kev tso dag tshiab tshaj plaws txog Kazakhs. Ib tug Suav thiab Kazakh ntsib. Ib tug pej xeem ntawm Celestial faj tim teb chaws nug: "Thiab koj muaj pes tsawg tus neeg nyob rau hauv Kazakhstan?" Ib tug neeg nyob hauv steppe teb: "Muaj xya lab tus tib neeg ntawm Kazakh haiv neeg, tag nrho cov pejxeem yog kaum plaub lab." Tus txiv neej Suav xav tsis thoob tias: "Auj! Yog li koj, zoo li nyob hauv lub zos, paub ib leeg los ntawm kev pom?"

Ib ob peb ntxiv tso dag txog Kazakhs

Caught on a desert kob Russian, Ukrainian and Kazakh. Cov neeg Lavxias tau ua ib lub tsev rau nws tus kheej, cog ib lub vaj zaub, thiab khaws cov tsiaj. Ukrainian kuj tau txais txoj haujlwm zoo: nws ua lub tsev pheeb suab, tau txais lub vaj zaub, pib tsav vodka. Tsis muaj dab tsi tau hnov txog Kazakh rau lub sijhawm ntev. Thaum ib tug Lavxias teb sab tuaj xyuas Ukrainian. Zoo, zaum thiab haus. Ntawm no, ib khob ntawm lub qhov rooj. Ntawm qhov chaw pib sawv ib KazakhNyob rau hauv ib tug tub ceev xwm uniform thiab hais tias: "Senior Lieutenant Zhumabaev. Thov qhia koj cov ntaub ntawv!"

Ib tug Kazakh sage tau nto moo thoob plaws lub tebchaws rau nws txoj kev kawm. Nws pib nyeem tej hauj lwm ntawm ntau tus kws sau ntawv Greek thaum ub: Socrates, Aristotle, Prometheus…

Tus tub ceev xwm hauv Alma-Ata nres ib tug txiv neej, thiab nws hais rau nws: "Koj yog dab tsi? Koj tus thawj coj paub kuv! Cia mus, koj yuav pom koj tus kheej!" Lawv mus rau lub tuam tsev tseem ceeb ntawm tub ceev xwm tsheb, mus rau tus thawj tswj hwm. Thiab nws hais tias: "Ah, Alibek! Los rau hauv, cia peb haus tshuaj yej!" Tus tub ceev xwm hais tias: "Koj puas paub txhua tus hauv Alma-Ata ?!" Tus txiv neej hais tias: "Thiab tsis yog hauv Alma-Ata nkaus xwb! Tuaj nrog kuv mus rau Astana! Kuv mam li qhia koj rau Nazarbayev!" Lawv tuaj rau lub peev. Nazarbayev tau txais lawv, npaj noj hmo rau Alibek thiab nws cov qhua. Tus tub ceev xwm tsheb nug nws tus neeg paub tshiab, Alibek: "Tej zaum koj paub ib tus neeg tsis yog hauv Kazakhstan, tab sis kuj txawv teb chaws ?!" Thiab nws teb nws: "Zoo, tau kawg! Cia peb mus rau Tebchaws Meskas! Kuv mam li qhia koj rau Donald Trump nyob ntawd." Lawv tuaj rau Washington, tuaj rau ntawm Tsev Dawb. Alibek hais tias: "Lawv yuav tsis tso koj mus ntxiv lawm, cia peb ua qhov no: Kuv yuav nkag mus, thiab koj sawv ntawm txoj kev thiab saib lub sam thiaj, peb yuav tawm mus nrog Trump rau ntawm nws. Donald yuav yoj rau koj..”

Tom qab ib pliag, Alibek thiab Trump tawm mus rau lub sam thiaj. Thawj Tswj Hwm, raws li kev pom zoo, waved nws txhais tes rau tub ceev xwm tsheb. Ob peb feeb tom qab, Alibek tshwm los ntawm lub qhov rooj ntawm Tsev Dawb thiab pom tias nws tus phooj ywg pw tsaug zog tsis nco qab. Nws thawb nws ib sab thiab nug tias: "Koj ua li cas?" traffic copTeb: "Zoo, Kuv tabtom sawv, Kuv tab tom saib, koj tab tom tawm mus rau lub sam thiaj … Thiab tam sim ntawd qee tus txiv neej dub los rau kuv thiab nug tias: "Koj puas paub leej twg sawv nrog Alibek?"

Dobrynya Nikitich tab tom tsav tsheb hla steppe. Kuv ntsib Alyosha Popovich thiab hais rau nws: "Saib, Alyoshenka, dab tsi hma hma kuv ntes tau!" Unties nws lub hnab thiab qhia. Alyosha hais tias: "Dobrynya, cov no tsis yog hma, tab sis Kazakhs!" Nikitich teb: "Yuav ua li cas ntawm Kazakhs, thaum lawv noj ib tug tag nrho nees nyob rau hauv ob peb feeb?"