2024 Tus sau: Leah Sherlock | [email protected]. Kawg hloov kho: 2023-12-17 05:37
Kev luag yog qhov kev xav zoo tshaj plaws uas tuaj yeem ua tau, thiab yog txoj hauv kev zoo tshaj los siv sijhawm hauv tuam txhab. Ntau tus neeg nyiam Petrosyan cov lus tso dag. Koj tsuas tuaj yeem nyeem cov duab kos duab lom zem lossis rov qhia lawv rau koj cov phooj ywg. Qhov kev lom zem no yuav tsim nyog nyob rau hauv ib lub tuam txhab. Ntawm no yog qhov zoo tshaj plaws miniatures ntawm tus kws kos duab los ntawm nws txoj hauj lwm ntev.
Nov yog Petrosyan cov lus tso dag uas txhua tus nyiam.
Ib rooj plaub nyob ze lub tsev kho mob maternity. Lub silhouette ntawm ib tug txiv neej yog pom nyob rau hauv qhov tsaus ntuj. Ib tug txiv neej ntshai haus luam yeeb.
- Zoo, eprst, thaum nws twb muaj lawm, nws yuav nrawm dua…
- Petushkova, yug! qw tus midwife los ntawm txoj kev.
- Thaum kawg! Kuv tab tom taug kev!
Daim duab muab luam yeeb pov tseg thiab taug kev mus.
Kuv nyuam qhuav mus ncig ua lag luam, kuv mus ntev heev thiab txhua lub sijhawm kuv qhia kuv tus poj niam: tsis txhob hloov, tsis txhob coj tus hlub - Kuv yuav pom! Kuv tsis tau muaj sij hawm mus rau lub dav hlau, SMS los ntawm ib tug tsis paub tus xov tooj: "Nyob zoo cov neeg siv, zoo siab nrog rau, koj cov nuj nqis ntawm txij nkawm tau them tag nrho! Ua tsaug, lub tuam txhab "Aerodom". Nov yog qhov kev pabcuam.
Kuv sawv zoo li-tom qab ntawd tom tsev kho mob maternity, ib tug txheeb ze raug tso tawm, thiab kuv pom daim duab no:
- Lena, peb yog leej twg?
- Vanyushka, peb muaj ib tug tub!
- Nastya, leej twg?
- Kayusha! Peb muaj Katyusha!
- Karina!… Karina! Oh Karin, koj qhib lub tshuab ntxhua khaub ncaws li cas?
- Txoj hlua yuav tsum muab tso rau hauv lub tee, thiab tom qab ntawd nias lub pob loj…
- Ua tsaug! - khiav nrawm dua.
- Tab sis kuv yug!
- Ua tau zoo!- khiav tawm.
maj tso dag
Petrosyan cov lus tso dag luv luv yuav tsim nyog thaum so hauv lub tuam txhab loj:
- Txhawm rau kom lub neej ntev li tsib xyoos, koj yuav tsum ua si ua si tas li. Kwv yees li 8 xyoo…
- Npauj xav tsis thoob thiab tau tuag thaum Lenya tuaj txog lawm.
- Lub ntsiab tsis meej ntawm xwm: ua li cas nquab tswj kom stain lub tsheb tsaus nrog dawb thiab lub teeb lub tsheb nrog dub?
Petrosyan cov lus tso dag tshaj plaws
Rau zaj lus thib peb, tus menyuam kawm ntawv tau foom tsis zoo los ntawm lo lus. Tus kws qhia noj zaub mov thiab txiav txim siab nug:
- Petya, koj puas paub tias txhais li cas?
- Ib txwm! Qhov no txhais tau hais tias txiv neej muaj teeb meem nrog lub tsheb.
Tsis ntev los no kuv nyob hauv tsev ua yeeb yam, muaj cov lus tshaj tawm: Thov tsis txhob tso cov khoom muaj nqis thiab nyiaj hauv koj lub hnab ris. Nkag siab tias tus neeg ua haujlwm hauv chav ua haujlwm muaj nyiaj hli tsawg heev!”.
April jokes
Lub hlis no yog qhov lom zem tshaj plaws, thiab ua tsaug rau lub Plaub Hlis Fool's Day. Petrosyan cov lus tso dag yog qhov tsim nyog dua li puas tau.
Evgeny Vaganovich tau hais ntau zaus tias koj tuaj yeem ua dag rau koj cov npoj yaigthiab tsev neeg:
- Big-eyed prank. Xav txog tias koj sawv thaum sawv ntxov thiab mus rau chav ua noj, pw tsaug zog. Koj qhib lub tub yees kom tau muesli thiab mis nyuj, thiab ces kaum ob lub qhov muag ntsia koj! Koj yuav sawv tam sim ntawd, ua li cas? Thiab nws yooj yim heev los ua nws. Nws yog txaus los yuav ob lub qhov muag ntawm lub hauv paus nplaum hauv khw muag khoom kos duab thiab lo rau txhua yam uas koj tuaj yeem pom hauv lub tub yees. Revived txiv lws suav thiab qe yuav zoo siab rau leej twg rau lub Plaub Hlis hnub.
- tso dag rau cov npoj yaig. Txhua leej txhua tus paub lub hauv ncoo uas ua rau lub suab qias neeg thiab funny. Tab sis yog tias cov neeg ua haujlwm hauv chaw ua haujlwm tau siv rau koj qhov pranks thiab ib txwm saib ncig ua ntej lawv zaum? Koj tuaj yeem yuav ib lub horn me me thiab muab tso rau hauv qab lub rooj zaum ua haujlwm. Thiab thaum tus neeg raug tsim txom tom ntej zaum ntawm nws, yuav muaj rumble uas yuav ua ntej ntshai thiab tom qab ntawd txaus siab rau txhua tus.
Evgeny nyiam tso dag ntawm cov ncauj lus sib txawv kiag li. Nws cov lus tuaj yeem txhawb nqa txawm tias nyob rau hnub tu siab tshaj plaws thiab feem ntau los nag. Petrosyan cov lus tso dag zoo tshaj plaws ntawm ntau lub ntsiab lus:
- Koj puas tau pom tias txoj haujlwm siab dua ib tus neeg ua haujlwm, nws tshwm sim ntau zaus?
- Yog tus neeg ua haujlwm zaum tsis ua haujlwm li 10 feeb, nws yuav cia li mus pw.
- Tsis muaj dab tsi tuaj yeem ua kom muaj zog dua li cov kas fes muaj zog brewed thaum sawv ntxov, tau kawg, tom qab koj haus ib khob tsib lub hnub qub cognac.
- Koj paub qhov kuv xav. tswm ciab noj hmo tsis yog ib qho yooj yim romance, nws kuj yog ib qho zoo heev tshuaj rau hemorrhoids.
Lwm zaj dab neeg funny los ntawm Petrosyan. Tuaj rau kuv zoo li-ces tus tub xeeb ntxwv qhov muag loj thiab hais tias:
- Kuv tsiv ntawm kuv niam kuv txiv mus rau kuv chav tsev, qee cov nqi tuaj, zoo, Kuv them lawv, Kuv saib dua hauv ib hlis, thiab rov ua dua … Kuv zaum tsis tau, puas yog?
- Ua li cas?
- Them thawj zaug. Cov kev pab vaj tse thiab hauv zej zog xav tias kuv yog neeg nqus, thiab lawv tab tom dag kuv tawm ntawm cov nyiaj?
Ntxhais lus tso dag los ntawm qhov kev ua yeeb yam Crooked Mirror
"Crooked Mirror" yog qhov kev lom zem uas txhua tus neeg nyob hauv tebchaws Russia tau pom. Thaum pib, nws tau tshaj tawm hauv Channel One. Thiab tom qab thiab rau hnub no lub troupe ua nyob rau hauv lub channel "Russia". Kev ua yeeb yam nrog Yevgeny Petrosyan cov lus tso dag thiab nyob rau hauv nws cov kev taw qhia muaj ntau haiv neeg, muaj suab paj nruag, ua yeeb yam me me, thiab txawm tias parodies. Ntawm no yog ib co ntawm lawv.
Yog li nyiam cov lus nug ruam. Tsis ntev los no kuv tab tom taug kev ntawm txoj kev thiab hnov cov lus teb zoo rau ib tug ntawm lawv:
- Koj puas poob?
- Tsis yog, kuv pob taws khaus khaus, yog li kuv txiav txim siab kos nws ntawm asph alt.
Hnub yav tsaus ntuj, tag nrho tsev neeg zaum pem hauv ntej ntawm TV thiab daws cov lus sib dhos, thiab muaj lo lus nug no: "Cov lus phem los ntawm peb tsab ntawv." Zoo, tau kawg, kuv tam sim ntawd nkag siab tias nws yog dab tsi, tab sis tseem txiav txim siab los xyuas nws hauv cov lus teb. Yog lawm: checkmate, tsis yog li koj xav!
Tsis ntev tas los no kuv txiav txim siab mus ua si bowling nrog phooj ywg, Kuv hu mus rau:
- Nyob zoo, kuv tuaj yeem xaj ib txoj kab ntawm koj rau hnub no?
- Yog lawm, koj xav tau pes tsawg grams?
Tus nkauj nyab, tom qab nws thiab tus vauv thov,hais tias:
- Nyob zoo, thaum peb sib yuav, peb yuav daws txhua yam teeb meem ua ke?
- Tab sis darling, peb tsis muaj teeb meem?!
- Kuv hais rau koj, tom qab tshoob!
Riddle with a tso dag
Qhov no yog ib qho ntawm Evgeny nyiam ua kom yuam kev, uas nws pheej siv los ua kom cov neeg tuaj saib. Petrosyan cov lus tso dag kuj tuaj yeem ua tau zoo nrog rau txhua hnub so. Yog tias koj ua kev zoo siab rau hnub yug nrog koj tsev neeg, koj tuaj yeem hloov lub toastmaster thiab tuav koj tus kheej. Ib tug tsuas yog kawm Petrosyan cov lus tso dag xwb, vim tias nws yog tus neeg ua yeeb yam zoo heev.
- Ib tug tub xeeb ntxwv ntawm tsev kawm ntawv nyuam qhuav tuaj. Kuv tus viv ncaus khiav ncig nws ntev ntev, nug nws, nws tsis qhia dab tsi, thiab tom qab ntawd nws hais tias: "Nov yog ib nrab ntawm txiv kab ntxwv zoo li?". Peb xav txog ib nrab yav tsaus ntuj, khiav nrog cov lus teb rau nws, tab sis txhua yam tsis yog. Koj puas paub dab tsi? Rau lwm ib nrab!
- Dab tsi yog qhov khoom plig nrov tshaj plaws tom qab hnub so rau koj tus txiv? Horns.
- Koj puas paub dab tsi tshwm sim ntawm lizard thiab tus tub kawm tsis mob siab rau? Ob leeg muaj tails.
- Yuav ua li cas rau dej, hluav taws, thiab cov kav dej tooj liab? Moonshine, tau kawg.
- Kuv nyeem cov lus tsis sib xws hauv cov ntawv xov xwm me nyuam yaus, nws yog qhov zoo uas cov lus teb raug sau tam sim ntawd. Tus poj niam zoo li cas lossi rub tawm tsam koj, thiab tom qab ntawd tas li thov nyiaj? Tus neeg saib xyuas tsheb npav thaum lub sijhawm maj nrawm.
Top zoo tshaj tso dag los ntawm Evgeny Petrosyan
Tus kws ua yeeb yam tseem niaj hnub sau ntawv rau nws qhov kev ua yeeb yam lom zem, ntau ntau ntawm lawv tau sau. Tab sisTxhua qhov kev ua yeeb yam ntawm Evgeny yog nqaij, muaj Petrosyan cov lus tso dag saum toj kawg nkaus, uas tau nthuav tawm hauv qab no.
Ntau zaus ib tug neeg tuaj dab qhuas nyiam tso dag txog poj niam, ntawm no yog ib daim duab uas nrov tshaj plaws. Xav paub seb poj niam lub hlwb ua haujlwm li cas? Tom qab ntawd qhib 100 tabs tib lub sijhawm ntawm koj lub computer!
Thiab ntawm no yog cov lus tso dag sab saum toj txog kev ncaws pob, uas Evgeny hlub heev:
- Kev sib tw lub lim tiam tom ntej, tsis paub yuav ua li cas kom lub cev hnyav dua?
- Caw ntau pancakes rau lub barbell.
- Tsis yog, koj tsis nkag siab, nrawm heev!
- Tom qab ntawd noj lawv!
Ntawm no yog lus tso dag txog txiv neej:
- Txiv, koj puas xav npias txias?
- Tau kawg kuv ua, tus tub, koj puas muaj?
- Tsis yog, kuv tsuas yog kidding
Cov lus tso dag zoo tshaj plaws raws li Petrosyan nws tus kheej
Kaw koj ob lub qhov muag thiab xav txog koj tus kheej khiav thaum sawv ntxov ntawm cov nyom mos, koj txhais taw kov cov lwg thaum sawv ntxov, thiab koj lub ntsws puv nrog huab cua ntshiab. Yog li qhia kuv, dab tsi yuav zoo dua li tsis khiav?
Cov lus tso dag txog hnub so puam tseem nrov hauv Yevgeny Petrosyan's arsenal, ntawm no yog ib qho nto moo tshaj plaws:
- Tus txiv neej, nyob zoo, Kuv so ntawm no, thiab koj puas tso cai rau kuv ntsib koj? Tsis txhob xav dab tsi phem, nws yog lus rau ib hmo! Zoo, ntau kawg ntawm ob!
- Madam, leej twg coj kuv mus! Kuv yog txiv neej tiag tiag - rau tag nrho so!
Kuv txiv ua hauj lwm ua ib tug kws kho mob thiab qhia tej rooj plaub no,uas tau tshwm sim tsis ntev los no. Yawg los rau kuv, zoo, nws muaj 90 xyoo, NW nyuam qhuav kov nws txhais taw, nrog ib tug pas nrig:
- Koj yws dab tsi?
- Koj pom, kws kho mob, thaum kuv deev kuv pob ntseg thaum kawg. Qhov no yog dab tsi?
- Thiab thov qhuas koj.
Tus poj niam khiav mus rau nws tus txiv, uas zaum ntawm lub computer, thiab qw:
- Nyob zoo! Kuv nyuam qhuav raug raped! Xav txog kev taug kev hla lub tiaj ua si, thiab ntawm no yog!
- Noj txiv qaub!
- Tab sis yog vim li cas?
- Yog, kom lub luag nyav ntawm koj lub ntsej muag raug tshem tawm.
Thiab qhov no tsis yog tag nrho cov lus tso dag zoo tshaj plaws ntawm Evgeny Vaganovich.
Pom zoo:
Jokes txog Armenians: tso dag, tso dag, dab neeg lom zem thiab tso dag zoo tshaj
Thaum cov neeg Amelikas tso dag nrog cov neeg Lavxias, cov neeg Lavxias tab tom tsim cov dab neeg txog Asmeskas. Ib qho piv txwv yog tib Zadornov, paub zoo dua rau nws hnub nyoog hais tias: "Zoo, cov neeg Amelikas yog neeg ruam! .. " Tab sis ib qho ntawm cov neeg nyiam tshaj plaws hauv peb lub teb chaws yeej ib txwm muaj thiab tej zaum yuav yog lus tso dag txog Armenians, thaum Armenians ib txwm muaj. tso dag txog Russians. Dab tsi nthuav lus tso dag txog lawv tau siv hauv peb lub tebchaws niaj hnub no?
Yuav ua li cas prank cov phooj ywg nyob rau thawj lub Plaub Hlis: cov lus tso dag zoo tshaj plaws thiab cov lus tso dag tso dag
Koj puas tau ua pranks rau koj cov phooj ywg? Tsis paub li cas? Hauv tsab xov xwm no, peb yuav qhia koj yuav ua li cas ua qhov no. Prank koj cov phooj ywg nyob rau lub Plaub Hlis Fool's Day, tso dag hauv lub tuam txhab tus phooj ywg thiab ntxiv qhov zoo rau koj txoj kev sib raug zoo nrog phooj ywg nrog kev lom zem pranks
Cov lus tso dag uas nrov tshaj plaws: cov lus tso dag thiab muaj feem cuam tshuam, dab neeg
Kab lus no muaj cov lus tso dag uas nrov tshaj plaws. Cov ntawv sau no tau muab tso ua ke raws li cov ntaub ntawv los ntawm ntau yam kev pabcuam hauv Internet uas tau muab rau cov dab neeg lom zem. Tsis tas li ntawd ntau cov ntaub ntawv tau muab los ntawm cov ntawv xov xwm thiab ntawv xov xwm. Zoo, thiab, ntawm chav kawm, nws tsis yooj yim sua kom tsis quav ntsej cov lus tso dag uas tau dhau los ntawm qhov ncauj mus rau qhov ncauj, ua ib txheej loj ntawm pej xeem kos duab
Muag Khoom Zoo Tshaj Plaws: Cov Qauv Suab Nkauj, Kev Tshaj Lij Tshaj Lij Tshaj Lij Tshaj Lij Tshaj Lij Tshaj Lij Tshaj Lij Tshaj Lij Tshaj Lij Tshaj Lij thiab Kev Muag Khoom
Ntau lub sijhawm dhau los, tib neeg tsis siv discs, cassettes lossis cov ntaub ntawv yas, nyiam mloog nkauj hauv Is Taws Nem. Thiab tsuas yog cov kiv cua nyiam tshaj plaws tau luam tawm ntawm lub cev tawm, vim tias txoj kev no koj tuaj yeem txhawb nqa tus kws kos duab thiab ua rau lub cim xeeb ntawm cov khoom tom ntej. Yog li, qhov no yog qhov qeb duas ntawm cov khoom muag zoo tshaj plaws hauv keeb kwm ntawm noob neej, cia mus
Daim ntawv teev cov neeg tshawb nrhiav zoo tshaj plaws (cov phau ntawv ntawm lub xyoo pua 21st). Qhov zoo tshaj plaws Lavxias teb sab thiab txawv teb chaws detective phau ntawv: ib daim ntawv teev. Detectives: ib daim ntawv teev cov kws sau ntawv zoo tshaj plaws
Cov kab lus sau cov neeg tshawb nrhiav zoo tshaj plaws thiab cov kws sau ntawv ntawm hom kev ua txhaum cai, uas nws cov haujlwm yuav tsis tso tseg tsis muaj qhov tsis txaus ntseeg ntawm tus kiv cua ntawm kev ua yeeb yam
